Nance Rosen Blog

I have a client who persists in assaulting unprepared “prospects” with sales messages on social media. Not that this “jump them” attack can’t result in someone buying something. It is just the lowest percentage approach when it comes to actually generating revenue.

Selling tactics of the past

In the early days of selling, sneak attacks had a kind of novelty to them. A door-to-door salesman would ring the bell of a lovely suburban home, and on the homemaker’s smiling appearance – he would throw a small cup of dirt on the rug inside. Then, pulling out the vacuum cleaner he hoped would soon be on an order form, he’d suck up the dirt and then some.

For the unsuspecting homemaker alone with her housecleaning, laundry and gardening chores, the interaction with the itinerant peddler (in a suit and shiny shoes) was itself a lift from a lonesome day. If she had the budget much less the need, she saw this unexpected visitor with a gee-whiz appliance as a welcome break, plus the visit threw a bit of optimism onto her self-esteem and status.

So, in the earliest iteration of selling tactics it was true that you could compel people into buying products and services with tricks, sleight of hand approaches and high-pressure techniques.

Selling tactics of the present

That worked until it didn’t. Today selling assaults do not work in part because we have become accustomed to building relationships – even faux relationships – that qualify sellers by their personalities and behaviors: their personal brands. We expect to come to know the people we buy from, although we generally know them only through their interactions on social media, like their contributions to LinkedIn group discussions.

Note that the bar of familiarity is “interactions” not “appearances”. Appearances are posts and pins. Interactions are responses and comments. Simply linking your latest blog post or announcing your new product, and doing it relentlessly as you create or make news, may get your photo and link pasted up there– but it won’t make relationships.

Success with social, outreach calls and emails, and in-person networking now demands that you don’t just offer something of value – or that you push who you are or what you have on other people’s desktops. Success demands that you become interested in the lives, businesses, activities, accomplishments, concerns and needs of these other people.

If you’ve stopped progressing or you’re stumped completely even after you have nailed down your personal brand, your strengths, talents, skills, interests, and social media activity: your lack of forward motion might reflect your failure to focus on someone other than yourself.

Rather than force yourself on us, consider how you can arouse our interest in you. It starts with your arousing your interest in us – and expressing that in a way that causes us to think, “Wow, this person gets who I am, and that’s why I want what he or she has.”

Remember, this is an audience economy. Until you’re more interested in your audience than you are in yourself, you may find yourself on the margins of not just society but also the economy.

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I had the opportunity to spend Friday afternoon and evening with Zooey Deschanel, star of the hit Fox show The New Girl. She filmed an upcoming episode at one of my companies’ locations, and the producers cast my business partner Jon Torerk and several of BioMechanixLA trainers in the show. I can’t give away too much more than that, except to say that the plot is really funny, other high wattage stars were there, and a village of production people swarmed the location.

Zooey is her own personal brand. She’s quirky, comedic and very assertive. She’s also really pretty with inimitable style.

I’ve been working with the show’s location scout for about three weeks, putting all the details together on our side – including casting and logistics, and had met the technical team and set designers. Every single interaction had plenty of smiles, a good amount of socializing, and always topped off with a hug or hearty handshake.  No matter how pleasant everyone was, it did not prepare for the dynamics of the day.

The start of an eventful day

Trucks and equipment pulled up at 1 PM, stretching several blocks long. An army of what appeared to be about 150 crew members began trickling in until the place was swarming. In less than three hours, whole sets were built, the environment was transformed, and a few rooms of what looked like air traffic control stations were set up. The shoot ended ten hours later.

What was most remarkable about the entire production was how NICE everyone was. I mean everyone. The director, the sound people, camera people, grips, guys that move stuff, and people who suddenly appear with food trucks filled with fresh delicious meals made before your eyes, and the location scouts who were on their feet for hours and hours.

Everybody made conversation, told stories, interacted with my staff, asked questions, compared their ice cream treats, showed us where there was food and more food, and loved answering questions about what they’d done that landed them where they are now. They were all happy people. Happy to work that hard. Happy to do what they did – at every level. Happy to learn about us and hear our stories.

I’ve worked in television and radio for decades – but I’ve never done a sit-com or spent that long with a cast and crew in one day. The currency that got everyone through it was being nice. Thoughtful, funny, generous, kind, patient and totally focused on doing whatever it would take to get the job done right – with a priority on keeping all the relationships intact, and actually improved.

After hearing so much grief about bosses, co-workers, subordinates and clients from so many people in business, I think I have an approach that might change the workplace dynamic. If you’re struggling with relationships at work, how about going Hollywood and being nice?

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As my creative partner @FamousAlice says, “competent and nice beats genius and difficult” when it comes to hiring, promoting and collaborating with team members – or selecting and working with vendors and consultants.

Competence is broadly understood as being good at what you do; but do not dismiss what it takes to be good – the education, experience, failure, success and of course opportunity. You might feel heartened to know that getting to the top rarely demands you to be the Wily E. Coyote, the super genius of your generation.

Actually, unless you have the idea and lone-wolf determination to launch the next Apple or you’re floating in pirate-free waters on a yacht as an heir to a Madoff-proof fortune, nice is the significantly larger factor when it comes to achieving success for most of us.

The great advantage of being nice – or learning to be nice

Nice is not the natural state for many, many people. You know it and so do I.  I interact with tens of thousands of people from speaking and working in branding and communications. I interact with professionals, business owners, students, young managers, mid-career changers, and the gamut of people who work from all over the world.

About 20% of these people are nice. Another 25% can pretend for a while. The other half are acting irritated, frustrated, angry, rude, bored, and certainly self-centered.  A fraction of those are just plain nasty. This makes your life as a nice person fantastic when it comes to the odds of people wanting to help you, hire you and send the best work your way.

Learn the language of nice

So, if you are looking to get ahead or get into your next great gig, learn the five languages of nice. Yes, it is that easy.

1. Trustworthiness. For example, learn to keep a secret. In fact, keep all of them. Be a vault. There’s no gain in sharing anything that someone tells you in confidence. Oh – and when you say yes, mean yes. And, do it.
2. Generosity. Keep your eyes open for a job that someone else might do well – and transfer the information to them. Be selfish about your karma.
3. Kindness. Next time, offer to go get a sandwich for a co-worker who’s going to miss lunch to make a deadline.  Bring back packets of mayo AND mustard.
4. Compassion. For instance, sympathize with your boss. Act like you understand what it’s like to have all that pressure – and everything else that’s going on in his or her life.
5. Empathy. Feel the joy when your friend gets good news. Let tears of happiness well up in you when you see a soldier get that first kiss on home soil.

Being nice takes work

If you know my work, you know I say: “There is no magic threshold.” You can’t be nasty, indifferent, lazy, untruthful and unkind in your personal life and somehow be a nice person when you cross the threshold at the office door, meet a recruiter or prospect or write an email.

Paul Zak, cited by the New York Times as a leading authority in the emerging field of neuroeconomics, has been researching neuro-chemicals. There could be a possibility that genetics can cause people to be not-so-nice and based on these findings, what profession they are most suited for can be determined.

Apparently, if you can’t speak the languages of nice: you can always be a Wall Street trader.  That counts you out of a whole lot of other opportunities – but at least you know where you belong.

Want to learn more about making your fortune by being nice? I will tell you for free. Email me: Nance@NanceRosen.com

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Who knew that physical positions mattered so much when it comes to generating novel, useful and profitable business ideas? Your feet, your hands and your use of space directly impact your fluency (how many ideas you can generate), flexibility (the sheer number of ideas) and originality.

In recent studies conducted at the University of Michigan and New York University, researchers demonstrated that your body guides your mind. Change your position, burst with creativity.

Here’s the measurable evidence submitted by Suntae Kim, Jeffrey Sanchez-Burks and Evan Polman in the New York Times on Sunday.

People walking around unrestricted while tasked to come up with original ideas for use of a common toy generated 25% more ideas than those who were forced to stay within a path marked by tape while doing the same assignment.

People who were instructed to alternate between two hands as they came up with new ideas for a use of a building generated 50% more novel ideas versus people who were told to use one hand only .

People sitting outside a cubicle came up with 20% more word associations (variations on the word “tape” for example, like worm or measure) than those sitting inside the cubicle.

For a long time we’ve known that objects impacted your perception of the environment – especially those around you. Carrying a warm cup of tea will generate more “wow, these strangers sure seem warm and hospitable” thoughts than an holding a piece of ice.

Now we know that where you are and what you are doing with your body can generate the billion dollar category busting innovations.

Would you like your personal brand to be seen as abundant, effective and overflowing with effective solutions?

Do this. Take a hike. Do a downward facing dog yoga move. Sit on the roof. Carry a lucky (fake) rabbit’s foot. Let the cubicle dwellers stare at their screens. Make your fortune.

Want to be more creative without adding any expense to your budget? Email me: Nance@NanceRosen.com

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Is there one small item – something as low as $1 that your prospects could buy from you?

Could it be a trial offer that costs just $1, and a payment of significantly more – if the trial offer proves to be valuable and effective?

We all think of hitting home runs, of developing the killer app, closing the monster deal or getting the absolutely ideal job.

What if you could get exactly what you want, it’s just that you started really, really small. Micro-small.

We know it’s true with learning new skills and unlearning bad habits. Almost everything good starts with a baby step. Try to knit a whole scarf – you can’t at one time. You can only make one stitch at a time.

Can’t read a whole 200 page book in an instant or consume a whole 16 ounce steak in one bite.  Got to take it all a bit or a bite at a time.

Do this today. Break down your biggest goal – or your unfulfilled resolution – into micro-dots along a line toward the ideal result. Create the tiny points – maybe calorie by calorie, maybe letter by letter, maybe just finding the phone number of just one person who you need to call.

Every great chain of events starts with one link and then only grows as you add them.

Let’s take all the heat down a notch. Baby yourself. One small step at a time.

Need ideas about making your large goals small? Email me: Nance@NanceRosen.com

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Answer these questions (honestly – no one will know but you):

1.  An office mate eats a sandwich with a whole lot of onions

a. I consider his odor might increase my chances for a promotion

b. I consider telling him he’s stinking up the place

2.  My IT consultant leaves after fixing my computer – it goes down the next day

a. I call him up and tell him what a miserable job he did

b. I call him up and let him know what happened

3. I am waiting in the express line at the bank that says: “loan payments only.”

a. I check my voicemail and Facebook account for updates

b. I look ahead to see who’s got a deposit slip or cash in their hands

4. The news is filled with stories about the number of foreclosures in the US

a. I believe people who can’t pay their mortgages knew they were taking out loans they couldn’t repay

b. I believe a lot of people were victims of bad loan deals or lost their jobs unexpectedly

5. There have been times when I was very angry with others

a. I was always able to control any desire to lash out physically

b. I have impulsively hit or pushed someone

6. An online news source discussed the causes and costs of drug addiction

a. I wish society had more effective prevention and treatment options

b. People involved with substances get what they deserve

7. The emergency room is jammed up with uninsured people

a. People who don’t have healthcare insurance are irresponsible

b. Healthcare insurance is priced out of range for many people

8. I sometimes argue with a colleague or customer

a. I occasionally use profanity, it’s common now even on television

b. I rarely use curse words or off-color language

9. A driver cuts me off on the road

a. I honk and consider speeding up to return the favor

b. I decelerate to put some room between our cars

10. Something extremely important must be done at work

a. As usual, I take it on myself so that it’s done right

b. I ask a co-worker if she can pitch in

11. Frequently I let an angry feeling

a. Come and go, because it avoids making a big deal out of something small

b. Be the catalyst for my speaking my mind; it’s not good to hold anger in

12. Someone criticizes something I’ve done

a. I feel annoyed

b. I try to decide if there is merit in the criticism

13. I overhear an unkind comment about me

a. I typically forget about it after a short while

b. I think about it for hours, sometimes longer

14. My co-worker is asking a lot of questions about a project we’re starting on

a. I assume she’s trying to be proactive and solve some problems that might be ahead

b. I assume she’s not capable or confident about her part of the project

15. My friend expresses an ignorant belief about politics

a. I set him straight

b. I let the comment pass

Scoring: Hostility has three categories. Each one: cynicism, anger and aggression are represented by five of the questions in the quiz. See below to rate yourself (the answer in parenthesis is the hostile one). For each category, if you score just 0-2 points, you’re doing okay (zero being ideal). If you’re scoring higher, you now have some insight into why your career or business may be sputtering.

Cynicism: 3(b), 4(a), 7(a), 10(a), 14(b),

Anger: 1(b), 6(b), 9(a), 13(b), 12 (a)

Aggression: 2(a), 5(b), 8(a), 11(b), 15(a)

Want some tools to help you lower your level of hostility? (And no, none of them involve deep breathing or meditation). Email me: Nance@NanceRosen.com

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These 20 questions cover five key areas that are critical to your accurately evaluating how well you’re doing at work. Your answers (or score) predict whether you’re likely to be promoted, fired or kept simmering in the same spot for years to come.

Score each question on a scale of 1-10 (10 = AWESOME). Add up your total score in each category. If you are totally awesome, you’ll have a total of 200 points. If you score below 30 points in any category, it’s time to take remedial action.

Job mastery

How well do I?

1. Exhibit expertise of the particular knowledge and skills that make me a uniquely valuable employee

2. Continue to get educated to update my knowledge and skills for my position and the positions I desire to hold in the future

3. Understand the metrics by which I am evaluated as well as those that my department is judged, and work to excel at those measured behaviors

4. Manage my tasks and actions to contribute to the performance outcomes set for my department and company

Communication with my boss

How well do I?

5. Understand and articulate my boss’ top priorities and reasons for them, and approach my work in that manner

6. Know which is of greater consequence to my superior: people, projects or principles

7. Appreciate my boss’ sense of balancing the need to a) gather information and b) take action

8. Show that I understand and support my superiors’ professional aspirations

Relating to others and gaining visibility

How well do I?

9. Seek to create significant, lasting connections with everyone in my company

10. Communicate using all opportunities to strengthen my ties throughout the organization

11. Manage my intentions and actions to appropriately compete and collaborate with my peers

12. Project my desire to be a resource to others as well as a willingness to be assisted by them

Cultural sensibility, belief and belonging

How well do I?

13. Keep a clear picture of the formal and informal reporting lines in my company

14. Like my company’s overall approach to business, people and the marketplace

15. Believe that I can contribute to the larger goals and vision of my organization

16. See that opportunities exist for me to grow and gain greater responsibility and authority in my company

Good judgment and resourcefulness

How well do I?

17.  Imagine I would be able to step up and fill in for my boss or another superior, if needed

18. Seek opportunities to be increasingly effective and efficient with the tools, workspace and funds allocated to me

19. Build relationships outside of the company that can be leveraged for its benefit

20. Relate to people who have the capacity to mentor me and widen my scope of influence

There’s a wealth of free and low-cost resources to get you back on track. Let me know if there are any areas you’d like to drill down on, and I’ll be happy to send you a list to kick-start your career. Email: Nance@NanceRosen.com

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If I had one wish that could be fulfilled by every job candidate I see, it’s that he or she would want to earn a million dollars a year, plus bonuses. I’ve asked lots of other business owners and they seem to agree that there’s one quality sorely missing from job seekers. That quality is ambition.

Given that my company is based in the US and specifically in Southern California, once home to the most ambitious people in the world – people who rode to the Western frontier with nothing more than a cow and a shotgun (okay, maybe they had some pots and salted pork rinds) – the paucity of ambition is particularly puzzling.

Not to say all job candidates are slackers, although a slacker often comes cloaked in a job seeker’s persona. This is typically a person who’s not all that uncomfortable living in the suburban ranch style home of now ancient parental Yuppies, and occupying a twin bed below a shelf littered with beanie babies, a Rubik’s cube and a Game Boy.

But, slackers aren’t the real problem. After all like most executives I still have enough papers to scan to fill up a terabyte or two of data storage and a number of other mind-numbing tasks perfect for a worker who is mysteriously satisfied if ear buds can be worn on the job.

The job candidates who confound me are people who expect to work for the majority of their lives. These are the student loan burdened and club going, or those with two kids, a bad marriage, mortgage and a master’s degree in something vaguely therapeutic. Meaning, these people all have debts to pay and modest Ketel One or kettle bell dreams to fulfill.

Why do they see the finish line so near? Why is it enough to end their run with the middle of the pack in a 5K? Why are we seeing so few people who are the type to claim the top podium spot in the Ironman world championship – or at least to die or cry trying?

Is it all those “special someone” days in elementary school? Is it the T-ball “tournaments” when everyone got a trophy for showing up?

Is it the legion of greedy, secretive corporate and investment fiends who haven’t just purloined our country’s wealth but made it all but impossible to believe there are still roads to success unblocked by the divine rights of the 1%?

Are pub-crawls and outlet malls setting a new low for what people aspire to have and to hold?

Tell me you expect to earn a million dollars, and I will eagerly ask you not only how, but also how I can help you. Business owners everywhere need big thinkers, heavy hitters, people who play through pain and know there’s gore in glory.

Ambition. It’s the other way to work.

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