Nance Rosen Blog

We’re having a BBQ with about 50 people up at my house in a few weeks. It’ll be in August, which weirdly enough, is when about a full third of my family and friends are born. So it’s always a big party, featuring crowd favs like ribs, beer and cake.  What could be bad? Nothing if I survive my drive to entertain.

Among the characteristics of my personal brand is “entertaining” and not just for guests at home. I speak, train and teach at venues where audiences are no longer satisfied by being educated or enlightened. “Adult learners” must be simultaneously entertained as they graze on facts and analysis.  Someone coined a word for what we do now in the knowledge transfer business: “edutainment.” I don’t have a casual relationship with this concept, because I believe it the single most important factor in moving people forward. With all my might, I relentlessly edu-tain.

Personal brands aren’t something you can turn off and on at will. Qualities that are authentically you will come through in most every venue.

For example, I am known for throwing really great parties because I believe that you must entertain guests. I see it as part of the job when you host a party. I have developed a formula. I like to splurge on a real bartender. He makes signature drinks and margaritas with that tiny shaved ice, like Slurpees (I bought the machine). We have live music (I live in LA where musicians are desperate for an audience much less a pay check). And I always add in something novel to up the cool factor and kind of make it a scene.

This summer my cool factor is futons instead of chaise lounges. It’s got that Beverly Hills Hotel cabana, Hollywood’s Hotel Roosevelt bottle service cum Vegas Rehab with beautiful people lounging vibe.

This is where it gets ugly.

The best place to buy cheap futons is IKEA. If there’s a store that’s more grueling to move through, filled with more screaming children and surly customer no-service people at the checkout, then it must be in hell.

Other than hell, which I can only imagine is IKEA without air-conditioning, there could be no other place where you are trapped with hundreds of other lost souls, as your brain is assaulted with the smell of damp Swedish meatballs and you try to find your way out from the moment you get in. On the floors you see arrows, but they return you to the same places you came from.

Okay, it gets worse.

We persevere, gripping our soiled list of product numbers, plus awkwardly juggling a tower of assorted doo-dads we picked up on the way down.  How could you resist? They force you to pass every single item ever made in Sweden on the way, three stories down, to the self-serve warehouse.

We arrive at the beginning of the end. We make our way through a maze of towering aisles and pull hundreds of pounds of futon assemblage and mattresses off the shelves, only to push them around in a side-less steel cart that hits you right in the curve between your leg and ankle.

It’s still not as bad as it’s going to get.

We pay after fumbling with what looks like a taser, and is actually an optical scanner that only works at a very specific distance and angle. We wobble our way out to pick-up zone.

Therein lies the difference between IKEA and hell.

Above our heads – like lettuce in a supermarket – is a power shower of wet mist pouring out of a cable strung all across the overhang between the store and the curb.

This is where you must wait with your cardboard and plastic covered, yet to be assembled furniture. Now we know it’s not hell, because we’re wet and freezing. We are literally standing in a monsoon with our cardboard shack and plastic tarp wrapped mattresses, all soaking wet.

“It’s to keep you cool,” says the lone attendant. Now if you don’t know, Los Angeles is about 78 degrees by day and 65 degrees by evening during most of the summer, with no drag of humidity. This is not Phoenix, Orlando, Houston or anyplace where having buckets of water thrown at you is really the only way to manage your body temperature outdoors.

Blame it on my personal brand. I endured because I must entertain. The show must go on. The mantra doesn’t waver when you are authentically what you are, no matter where you are.

In case you are navel gazing about your own personal brand, ask yourself this. What do you endure that tells you who you are?

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From the time you leave your home, consider that you are being auditioned for the job you are seeking.  Your personal brand starts to get its early morning workout when you cross the threshold of your door.

How coherent is your personal brand promise, given what you actually deliver?

The person you brushed by without apology, your sitting steadfastly on the train when an elderly person could have used your seat, the meager tip you left at the diner: that is your real personal brand.

Your prickly reaction when you make a mistake, the indifference you show the speaker when you talk during a presentation, the lack of planning that leaves you to blow a deadline: that is your real personal brand.

Without thinking too much, pick just one:

1. Would you rather be right?

2. Would you rather be loved?

3. Would you rather be the best?

If you would rather be any of these, given who you really are, consider what you must do to change from the inside out.

It’s not just that your future boss or client may be sitting on the train or glance by your check and change at the diner booth: it’s that you are going to be you in every situation that lasts longer than a first job interview. Anything you want is yours to lose or win.

There is no magic threshold. You can’t suddenly become a better person because now it’s work and not home, or it’s work and not friendship. You are who you are with a very thin layer of veneer to chip and reveal your real personal brand.

Stop with the cheap disguises. Stop telling yourself that you deserved the job. That your co-workers are wrong. That you could do so much better if you owned the business instead of doing your job.

In the USA, we are heading toward the day we celebrate as Independence Day. Make this more than a vacation day. Figure out what you want to shake off – what chip on your shoulder you’d like independence from.

Let the July 4^th fireworks be a metaphor for your breaking through your dark side and lighting up the world.

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If you were a bumper sticker, what would you say for all the world to see, as we drive by you stuck on a fender?

Would you tell us to give peace a chance? 

Would you tell us you’re a fan of mixed martial arts?

Would you boast your kid made honor roll?

Would you boast your kid beat up a kid on honor roll?

During my first week in training at The Coca-Cola Company, I got a mega dose of what big brands know best, and pass on to the people who represent them.

Memorable brand messages are brief, bold and brilliant.  Seven words or less pretty much covers everything they want us to remember. Volvo = safety. Disneyland= happy. Coke: the pause that refreshes (and a litany of other vitality-oriented slogans).

We are connected to these brands and the values they embody – the qualities of an ideal life they promise comes with purchase.

Like the toy in Cracker Jack or the mood ring in Lucky Charms, a brand personality may feel as real as something we hold in our hands. That’s why we welcome brands into our lives. And, why we proudly wear their insignias and logos.

We believe that joy, security, freedom, peace of mind, creativity or success comes with the product – or whatever desirable state of mind we can’t get on our own.

Personal brands: how do you know how we feel about you?

If you blog, and we like your personal brand: we happily subscribe to your missives. We hit “share,” sending out your message like we are sending a gift via email.

We look for you as we duck in and out of our Facebook page. We throw a glance at Tweetdeck zillions of times a day, and hope you pop up with something pithy that we might retweet. If you put in a subject line that is meaningful, we are motivated to open your email.

As personal brands, perhaps attached to bigger brands, we are both consumers and promoters. Unlike mass-marketed brands, personal brands don’t act like there is a one-way mirror. We rely on the porous relationship we have with our audiences.

The audiences we compete for are besieged with communication clutter, and at the same time are besotted with messages that are crisp, clear and relentless.

Are you successful in the trafficking of messages?

The world is driving by you all the time. Consider what’s sticking about you.

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What should a psychologist do when a client discloses an intention to harm himself or others? If these statements are just potentially criminal with no guarantee that they will be enacted – are they truly dangerous thoughts?

Yes.

I hear thought crimes constantly, and witness the harm they cause. I hear them from employees, clients, friends, family, vendors – the list goes all the way to the grocery store checkout clerk who snaps at a customer fumbling for her “loyalty” card.

No, these thought crimes are not the revenge filled ravings of the insane. I’m talking about regular people like you and me. Most of us dj an unbroken record of self-dissing rap. It’s the cause of brain sprain, when we “forget” about projects even when – especially when – our contribution is critically needed. It’s the screaming soundtrack in our theater of the mind that unleashes an angry exchange with a co-worker or superior.

Your thought crimes are a big part of your personal brand. You can’t hide them. You do them. That’s why your personal brand isn’t “taking” or “building.” You’re pulling down your promotional posters as fast as you put them up.

I see thought crimes in action today from Loren, the young man who works for my company as a janitor. Loren clearly has the calm, congenial nature that should put him on the ladder to success, and off the real one he needs to change light bulbs. So, I pay him to take training on the simple software we use to schedule clients, and what does he do? He misses most of it, because he comes in a half-hour late. I tried him in shipping; he left the boxes open and unshipped.

He’s a fine young person who will probably spend the rest of his life vacuuming up the dust of our lives because his brain’s refrain is “I’m not good enough to do anything better than my parents.”

I know you commit similar thought crimes, because you are competent, talented, resourceful, special and filled with potential. Yet, you fail to enjoy everything you have to offer because you won’t stop listening to yourself.

What’s on your mind?
“I’m slow, clumsy, fat, stupid, and will never play for the Lakers,” (okay, that last one is probably true) or another litany of idiosyncratic self-insulting, diminishing, and mean spirited directions to yourself.

You think this self-denigrating, self-defeating garbage because it’s what you picked up from your folks, or what you fear others perceive about you. And your point is? Yawn.

Personal brands, here’s the harsh truth: your thought crimes are the only thing stopping you from figuring out how to have the life you crave – and truly deserve.

Encouraging thoughts don’t magically deliver the things you want; however, a positive talk track encourages your brain to figure out how to overcome real obstacles. Self-regard is the ONLY thing that transforms you from a loser to a winner.

I know there’s a real, wonderful you under the layers of misery you heap on yourself.

I know because I can see it. The way that kid in the movie could see dead people. I have the blessing and the curse of seeing the most positive, achievement oriented, spectacularly amazing you – even when I just see your photo. Even when I just think of you now while I am writing to you. Always when I meet you.

I also see the gunk you’re covered with.

Take a hot shower and wash it off. Circle around your most comfy chair three times and then sit down. Light a candle. All the while repeating, “I know exactly what I want and I’m excited to make it happen for myself.”

You will.

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Addiction is pandemic, even though it seems to go against our instinctive desire to survive. Or maybe it’s that some of us are focused on surviving, and not thriving.

Our natural instinct to survive is so transcendent and ubiquitous; Mark Burnett made billions because he named a television show after it. We like to watch people battle to survive. Our brains’ mirror neurons fire as we lock into the adversarial challenges. We experience firsthand the tension, fear, triumph and reward; or the tension, fear, failure and loss.

That’s why certain sports, which most of us never engaged in, are so compelling. We like NASCAR and hockey, or anything where someone could get killed or seriously injured in an instant.  The hairpin turn and the body check make these “collision sports” as opposed to “contact sports” perversely compelling. We sigh with relief when the driver climbs out of his car, which is upside down and shooting flames. We cheer when the forward recovers from the blow of a defenseman’s elbow to the face. And we exalt their perseverance, when they return to the game – often to experience exactly the same injuries.

With so much of our brained trained for survival, you’d think our desire for well-being would be a reflex, like when the doctor hits your knee with a tiny hammer. Who doesn’t welcome that uncontrollable, gratifying little kick response?

Could be we’ve all watched too many crashes, because success is not a reflex or an instinct for most of us.

Success is a decision.

Success is not a spectator sport.

Success starts with your showing up ready to play. Batteries full with all the right cords and chargers on hand.

Success at work is a collection of success habits.

Go to bed early (or late depending on your shift). Do laundry so you have clean clothes. Think before you speak so you have a clean mouth and a positive outlook. Meet your boss or co-workers with a pen and pad so when people tell you what to do: you write it down. And, do it! Give instructions with kindness. Make sure you deliver support or training at a pace people can use to gain mastery.

You are building your personal brand with every step – and every mis-step.

As a career coach and employer, I’m knocked off my socks watching people destroy the chances they are given. And, in this economy one chance may be all you get for awhile.

Personal Brands: Are You a Job Addict?

Some people are addicted to a cycle of optimism, effort, carelessness and defeat at work. You are a job addict if your work history looks like a patchwork quilt of bright beginnings followed by dark swathes of being misunderstood, underutilized and shut out of all the good meetings.

Need a quick quiz to tell if you are a job addict? It’s simple.

Which response would your past employers say to a prospective one:

a) “All I can do is verify the dates of this person’s employment and compensation.”

b) “We were sorry to see this person leave, because they were such a terrific employee. But, we understand that they deserve greater opportunity than we can provide here.”

Consider you may need help. Whomever you get to listen, don’t let anyone tell you that it’s okay to do what comes naturally – if what you are doing is chronically self-defeating.

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